Pac-Man Babies

3. Newborns are like Pac-Man characters.  About every two hours, newborns’ Pac-Man Mouth (PMM) will wake them up.  And you, too, if it happens to be at night.  Keep in mind, moms, that the two-hour timer begins when the baby STARTS feeding.  So, if your baby is like mine and nurses for an hour, that means you have 60 minutes to rock your baby back to sleep and snatch a few winks for yourself before the timer starts all over again.

The PMM phenomenon will not only wake babies up, but it will then lead them to a food source.  Intelligent behavioral scientists call this rooting.  Or, when properly latched to a bottle or breast, they call it eating.  And when PMM eats, it consumes every delicious drop of that round.

Me Hungry! Me Want Food!

So, I feel I can fairly accurately say that newborn babies chomp their way through roughly 90% of their waking moments (these findings are based purely on one mother’s observations of her impressively beastly baby girl).  Unlike the Pac-Man characters, however, babies can continue sucking even after they have guzzled every last delicious drop and the level is complete.

“I’m not even mad,” I say in my best Ron Burgundy voice.  My seemingly starving child has been frantically slurping for the last 45 minutes.  “I’m kind of impressed.”  After all, I’m pretty sure she got her unending appetite and love of food from me.  So there I am again, transforming into the Pac-Man ghost – wide-eyed and unblinking as I watch my little Pac-Man devour, conquer, and advance.

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